Fire Hydrant of Blessings

We were gone out of town to visit my family and then to the beach for vacation for the past month. Adam was on a missions trip with the Sr. High and then it was so good to have time back together. It was also a LONG time to be away from home. Last week was our first week back and it was a crazy one.
While I was at my parents visiting I sent in the last of our home study paperwork. I was so excited to have this part done, but didn't know how long we would have to wait to find out the next step.
While we were on vacation we got an email saying we had been assigned someone to do our home study. We were SO excited about this!! This meant that our home study would hopefully soon be done, and we would be eligible to get a referral for a child. They said the lady would be in contact with us soon.
On Monday after we had returned home I was trying to do a million things. I had laundry, unpacking, cleaning, grocery shopping, preparation for a meal I was doing at church that week, emailing our agency about the status of our process, Bible study, doctors appointments (because someone in our house always has an ear infection...), and getting ready for the wedding of two of our students from church!! I had plenty on my plate and did not even have time to think about anything other than what was directly in front of me. Knowing this God decided to place what He wanted me to see RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME so that I didn't have a choice but to give time and attention to what He wanted. Thankful for his forwardness.
I got a call half way through the morning from our home study lady. I was SO excited as I listened to the message!! She sounded so kind and I couldn't wait to find out what exactly a home visit meant. I called her back right away and we set up our interviews on back to back days. August 6 and 7. Mark your calendars and pray for us. She said that she would have the final report written the next week. I was over the moon...or sun since it was day time...that we now had a final date in mind that our home study would be finished. I was giddy. God was giggling....at what was to come.
I had on my list for that day to write our agency and let them know where we were in our process. Before our home study call all I had to report was that we had sent in our paper work and we were waiting. Waiting is normal- but I didn't feel like that was much of an update. I was DELIGHTED to be able to share with them that we had our home study set up!
I still cry as I sit here and type this. God's fire hydrant of blessing, as Adam often says in the lessons he teaches at church, seems to not have been shut off in the past week. I feel so blessed by God's provision, timing, and care.
As I talked with the lady from our agency she informed me that they were trying to find out where people were in the process because they were getting ready to start new investigations on children in Uganda. They do two private investigations on all of their children referred to them to make sure that they are truly orphans. They want to make sure that there is in fact no biological family that could care for them. If there is family then they want to reunite them. I really appreciate this about our agency. I don't want to take a child that could be raised by their family, I want a child who is an orphan and has no one.
I was so happy to share the blessing from that morning of the connection with our home study lady. I asked if that was a place where investigations could be done on children for us? She said she was calling because there were two children that fit our application!!! I almost fell out of my chair. She said there is another family in front of us who has finished all of their paper work and one of the children would be a match for them too. She said she didn't know who would be matched with who yet if the investigations show true orphans but she wanted to let us know that was happening. I tried to gather myself and ask the questions I knew I would want answers to later as Adam drilled me for all the details. I usually get so excited I forget to ask the right things in the moment!! Haha. We don't know the gender but the child would be under 7 months old. I couldn't stay in my chair any more. I was crying and pacing the room. We had been told at the beginning of the process when we said we wanted to keep the birth order and have a child younger than Andrew that 12 months would be probably the youngest we would get. Adam and I were both ok with that and were thinking towards that end. When she said under 7 months I was in shock! This is not any sort of official referral by any means, but it is  step in the process.
I talked with her about what our goals should be and when things should potentially be happening. I was also not prepared for her answer to this! She said if we were to have all of our paper work and finances we could travel somewhere around October!! This once again completely blew away our "plans" for when we would travel or how fast things could get done. That is why I'm sure God was giggling at my excitement over scheduling a home visit.
As my mind has had a few moments to start to wrap around this idea I am excited, nervous, sad, antsy, but not worried. God has continued to teach me that faith can only be had when requested. We are to ask for faith. He started teaching me that lesson at the women's retreat earlier this year. Faith is what pleases the Lord and I need to ask Him for it. This takes a huge load off of me. Whenever I start to feel anxious or worried I know that I need to pray for more faith, and I know that He will answer me. Sometimes that answer will require blind obedience, but I know that a good and loving God is guiding me.
For months I have prayed each day that our baby in Uganda would find favor with one of their care takers at whatever orphanage they are at. That for some reason they would stand out to the people that care for the children. That they would be held, comforted, fed, loved on. Even though it is exciting it also has been so strange, and sad to me now to know that a child really does exist so far away. So young and helpless-and in desperate need of someone to find favor on them. My prayers are much more urgent and deep since this news. My baby at this very moment is in Uganda, that is hard for my heart. All I want is to be there. I don't need to be able to bring them back to America yet, I just want to hold them and care for them. I do not want them to be alone, or lacking for anything.
There is A LOT of money needed before that can happen. When I say a lot I remember that to some people the amount of money we need would not be a lot. Then that changes my perspective to how insignificant that amount must seem to the Lord, if it could be a small amount to some people. He holds everything in His hands. He has called us to this. He will provide. Now we seem to be waiting to see in what way that will be.
God has already provided before this news with a generous anonymous gift sitting on Adam's desk at work. I was awed and humbled by the idea that someone would selflessly give us that money to help us bring our baby home. That they would walk in obedience to caring for the orphan through entrusting that money to us. Whoever you are- we will use every last penny of it to bring this baby home. Thank you.
We now have to think about fundraisers. That overwhelms me. The amount needed seem so big and fundraisers seem so...I don't even know...confusing and difficult. :) God has set up great conversations with many people that I had never talked to before about our adoption and some of them have offered to help with fund raisers. God pays for what He orders. I think it was our pastor at church that said this a few years ago and has stuck with me. God will not leave us alone in this journey. We need to continue to walk in obedience and faith. We are so excited to see how the Lord is going to provide, and also in what time schedule He is going to do it. We know that it could not be by October when all paperwork is done. We also know that His timing has been perfect in all other areas of this. He timed that I would get the home study call BEFORE the agency call in the same day. Sometimes trusting seems easier and I'm thankful that He is making that the case in this journey for us.
Please pray for funds, finished paper work, and mostly for our baby that is living in Uganda right now with out us. Praise God for His grace, blessings, and infinite wisdom. I feel so blessed by His faithfulness to me.

One Thing At A Time

Well we are done with the first section of our home study. When the boys wake up we are going to mail it. This paperwork is no joke! I'm so thankful for the people that have patiently answered questions for me and given us advice.
Matthew stood on the dining room chair the other day and looked down at paperwork all over the table. He said, "Mommy, this takes long time." I wasn't sure what he was talking about because like usual, about 4 other things were going on at the same time. I said, "What takes a long time?" He pointed at the table and said, "Adoption." YEAH BUDDY IT DOES! He has told me multiple times that he doesn't want to wait anymore. So thankful for the tender heart of my boy.
I am continuing to learn a lesson in faith. Many times already I have tried to sort through things in my mind. I try to figure out where money will come etc. and when it does not line up, and I have to accept it will feel anxious. The thing that has been most helpful is to stop and pray for greater faith. Faith in the fact that the Father is good. That He will provide for what He has called us to. Faith that God's plans don't have to line up in my mind in order to work. I am thankful for this lesson in faith. I am also thankful for the ways in which He has already proved faithful.
Of course I'm thankful that both boys are napping at the same time right now! Time to be productive in some way...

Accepted

We have been accepted to our agency! This happened probably a week or so ago. It has been a busy few weeks though so I haven't had opportunity to post it. We also have applied to get our home study done. That is starting to get moving too. I have hung our acceptance letter on the fridge. Looks a little different than a sonogram but we are very excited. I have been reading blogs and facebooks of families that have adopted from Uganda and the excitement in my heart is sometimes overwhelming. Can't wait to hold the little one.

Speedy Time

Today my Matthew finished his first year of school! This literally feels like the fastest year of my entire life.
Matthew attended 2 yr. VPK. I thought this was such a ridiculous idea when Adam brought it up to me last year. I cried because I thought once he started school it would never end and I would be watching his high school graduation before I knew it. I think this is still true. Seeing how fast this year flew by I know 12th grade is going to be here before I know it.
I sent him to school anyways. I said I'd try it for 2 weeks. If I didn't like it then he would be done. I was just waiting for the 2 weeks to be over. BUT THEN...
Matthew LOVED school. He LOVED carrying his Curious George backpack and lunch box to school. He LOVED going to pancakes with daddy before school on Tuesdays. He LOVED his new friends. He LOVED his teachers. He LOVED everything about it. So two weeks turned into a year.
I am so thankful for how much he has grown this year. He is now talking up a storm! He is potty trained. He has learned how to play really well (most of the time) with other kids his age. He has developed a lot of his finer motor skills that he used doing crafts at school. His imagination has grown (which I didn't think was possible). And he is just a more grown up little boy.
I am thankful for the best first teachers I could've ever asked for! They are so sweet, caring, compassionate, patient, loving...the list could go on for a really long time! I was confident that Matthew's teachers knew the gift they had in my little boy. It made sending him to them for 2 mornings a week so easy. They adored him and cared for him so well.
It was really fun to be a classroom mom. I got to take snacks, stop by and say hi whenever I was up at church, celebrate holidays, and go to programs. I realized that school didn't mean that I wasn't involved at all in that part of his life. I also realized that I am not together enough to provide Matthew with all of the experiences he got to have at school. I can keep him fed, clothed, and bathed (sometimes)- but crafts every day etc. is not possible. Haha. Glad he got to do so much that I didn't have to plan and execute!
Today he had his final program and last day. It was so sweet to hear him yell out his friends names as he saw them in the court yard afterwards. I'm sad he won't get to play with them as much anymore!
I'm looking forward to a summer of fun with him at home. And I'm also looking forward to all the fun he will have at school next year. How is time going by so fast?! I'm trying to treasure every moment.

Mother's Day

It is almost 7 in the morning in Uganda. My baby may be waking up not knowing what today is. But soon.

I am going to sleep now as you wake up. I am dreaming of being your mommy. I hope next year to be celebrating with you.

Mother's Day is kind of a funny thing. Being a mother is exhausting. And never ending. And draining. And selfless. And wonderful. One day to celebrate so much work. I am not tooting my own horn here.

Each time I am overwhelmed with my selfishness I remember that my mother did the same for me. This is nothing new. Many have gone before and many will come after. I am not alone in these feelings.

I hope to provide as much love as my children can possibly handle. I hope to point them to Jesus so that when, not if, when, I fail them- they will know a love that never fails.

Matthew. You made me a mommy for the first time. You are smart. Handsome. Funny. Determined. Kind. Gentle. Loving. Encouraging. My heart was so full the day I met you. I knew this was going to be the best "job" of my life.

Andrew. I didn't know how I could love another son the same amount. Don't worry- all those fears were gone the moment I held you in my arms. You are funny. Feisty. Handsome. Opinionated. Loving. You bring me so much joy. You make me earn my keep. I can't imagine our family with out you.

New child of mine. I can't wait to meet you. And learn who you are. The specific design God used on you. I am eager to be able to describe you to others because I know you as a part of myself. Your status may be orphan for now. But soon that will change. God has you chosen for us and us chosen for you. Soon we will be family! I can't wait.

Thankful for my mom. A hard working, selfless, encouraging, Jesus loving woman. You set a high bar. I know not every one is so blessed as I am. What I have seen and learned about other mother's through the years has made me even more thankful! Pretty sure you knew that was coming though. Glad to have you some what near to help me with this journey. I love you.

I hope that each of you has had a mother or mother figure that you can celebrate today. Don't be afraid to appreciate them on more than just Mother's Day. Pretty sure they wouldn't mind. :)




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$1.12

Never thought something that costs so much would cost so little to start! We just sent the application in! Matthew was very excited to get a new brother or sister. He wanted to buy everything in the post office to send them. He was so upset when we got back in the car and went home instead of getting on an airplane to Uganda. Like seriously upset. Almost crying. Hopefully this all speeds along so he won't have to wait too long! :) He is also ready to share a room with Andrew and is making cards right now at his desk for the box we are going to start of things to take with us when we go. I'm so grateful that Matthew is so excited for another member of our family! He truly is such an amazing big brother. We are so blessed with the two boys the Lord has already given us. Next on my list of things to do today is get things for the home-study in order. SO EXCITING!!

Day in St. Augustine

This is old too. Someday I will be caught up. Maybe...

We got to spend a BEAUTIFUL day in St. Augustine with Grandma. There are lots of fun pictures from our adventures.

Best buddies

Someday everyone will be looking and smiling at the same time. Maybe.

KISSES!

Cool dude.

Trying on hats to amuse Matthew. 

Squishy face every time to keep them up!

I used to have some like this.

They were staking out our picnic spot.

Silly brothers.

My love.

So fun to have Grandma here.

He has discovered his tongue.

Precious.

Smallest sidewalk of all time.

Melt my heart.

I love when they make each other laugh.

Followed this down St. George Street- Haha