Andrew is 1.

Andrew had a Hunger Caterpillar party. Can't believe he is a year old. (Well a year and one month now.) He is such a sweet joy to my heart. Thankful to be his mommy!

Cake made my Grandma!

Banner also made by Grandma.

Silly time with Pops before our friends arrived.

The set up.

Daddy did a great job making all the signs.

I had to make this picture huge. He's too cute not to!

Decided to stand on his own for the first time at his party.

Help blowing out the candle by Matthew.

He was so polite with his cupcake.

I am so blessed with these 3 handsome guys! 

He enjoyed his presents. Especially his ball from Owen.

The toys that Matthew gave Andrew.

Happy Birthday Andrew!

Matthew turns 3.

This is late. But not much in life my isn't. :) We had some fun birthday parties this year with sweet friends. Matthew turned 3 and had a Curious George birthday party. As usual- it was the one freezing day of February that we decided to celebrate...outside. It was fun anyways. Here are pictures of all the festivities.

We got to celebrate with Matthew's class

He requested Chocolate Chip M&M cookies

He has the sweetest little friends.

Good morning birthday boy!

Pancakes at his favorite place. PLUS a donut. And a present!

My attempt at chalk board art.

We went to Ollie Koala's with the families.

My sweet 3 year old!

He had so much fun playing with Daddy!

PIZZA!

It took a lot to get him to sit still for this picture!

EXCITED for presents!

He got WAY too much.

Trains!

The party at the park.

Monkey Cupcakes 

This kid loves to swing!

Lots of sweet friends came to play.

Papa & Grandma came to celebrate!

Yum!

Sharpie and Andrew snuggled the whole time to stay warm.

Swinging with his buddy.

Harper ran around with the balloons the whole time.

Love him.

Thankful for friends.

Faithful is He...

God's timing is perfect. I am continuing to learn this. He is ever faithful to prove Himself faithful.

Our application still sat. No word back from the agency. I felt peace that we had done what we were supposed to. It was just time for more waiting.

I went to the women's retreat at our church this past weekend. I forgot to sign up. As usual. Not sure how I can spend so much time at church and forget to sign up for things. I guess maybe because I figure I will surely be there again before the deadline. As usual- Cindy was gracious enough to add me to the list. I had heard who the speaker was going to be- and knowing that her family has adopted 3 little girls- I knew there would be SOMETHING my heart needed to hear. 

The topic was faith. I feel as if this adoption journey so far has been a call to faith. Do I believe that God is who He says He is? Do I believe that I was created for more than just living for myself? Do I believe that He is in control of all things? Do I believe that His timing is perfect? Do I believe that He will enable me to thrive in life instead of just survive? 

I'm thankful for God's gentle and encouraging reminders of things that He has taught me time and time again. The things that were shared were things I needed to hear. Here are a few of them:

• The way of dependence is the way of faith.


• What I believe about God will determine everything. Every action etc.


•  Hebrews 11:6 tells us that without faith it is impossible to please God. But faith is a gift from God (a free one) and all I need to do is ASK. I cannot produce faith. HE must increase it in me.


• Each new step that He calls me to will require a greater measure of faith. I guess I should stop hoping that what is around the next corner will be "easier" than the last.


• Faith is not passive. Obedience is evidence of faith. I have faith in God, so I obey. 


• The longer I wait for the fulfillment of something, the more likely I am to take matters into my own hands. Abraham and Sarah did this. It did not end up better. Patience and faith will result in the best possible outcome.


• When I take time to remember God's faithfulness. My faith grows. I must choose to actively call to mind His faithfulness through out the years to me. 


• We studied Hebrews 11-12. We reviewed the fact that we are not living for the here and now. We are living for a greater hope and greater joy.


• If I'm not living for here (earth) then I can _____________________. There are many things I can fill in that blank with. Wake up early to spend time with Jesus. Take a meal to someone in need. Break my schedule to love on my children. Adopt. There is a whole range of things that each moment call for. 


• The earth is the closest thing to heaven unbelievers will ever experience. The earth is the closest thing to hell that believers will experience. I need to STOP trying to hold on to the closest thing to hell I will ever experience. Let go of now for the reward of Heaven.


• The call to die to self is exemplified in adoption. I think this is true in raising children in general if you choose to do it in a way that is not to benefit yourself. But choosing adoption does take an extra step of setting aside self. There is no room for my selfishness in working hard for the care of an orphan.


• Dying to myself is a fight for faith. Faith pleases God. I am in a constant battle for this. 


• I press on for the joy set before me. Heaven. Jesus. 


• Fear has NO place in faith. 

Following the conference I had a few good conversations with Adam. Things that should be discussed before our application would be sent in. God was gracious in His timing. He had worked to align our hearts on hard issues. There was no convincing on either of our sides. God had brought us to agreement through His working. I am thankful for a husband that has a living and active relationship with God. He seeks Him on his own. He wants God to lead him as he leads our family. It makes following so much more of a joy.

Yet our application waited.

I got a call on Monday from the guy I had been trying to contact. I missed it. A voicemail. But it was a VOICE! A person had called me back! 

Tuesday afternoon in the middle of preparing food for an event at church, and children who didn't want to nap he called back! I decided I better take the time to talk, because I didn't know when the next chance would be. A quick prayer for compliance from my children and for focus for my scattered brain and I answered the phone.

I had a great conversation with him. The questions we had were answered. He told me that they were accepting people into the program at this time and we would be in the next round of a couple of families they would work with. It is a small program so usually only 10 families at a time. God's timing is perfect. A call back earlier would not have allowed for the conversation Adam and I had following the women's retreat. It may not have resulted in an open spot in that agency at the time. 

The application is being sent tomorrow!! According to the guy I talked with we should have another child within the next 365 days! Of course that all depends on the Lord's timing, but that is CRAZY to me! So exciting! Adam congratulated me on expecting after I got off the phone. I have a feeling this "pregnancy" is going to be nothing like my first 2. :)

I want to remember God's faithfulness publicly. I want Him to receive all glory for what He has accomplished.

We do not have the finances to adopt. This has been a huge area that I have asked for faith in. He still has not shown me how it is going to happen, but He has shown me one step. That is enough.

We have what we need to pay the application fee, home study fee (we can't apply for grants until this is done), and our first payment to the agency. This is ALL from our tax return. Not money we would normally have. God graciously timed the finding of this agency, the gift of money, and the return of the phone call. 

I am so excited to see how else He provides. Past those first few things to pay for we do not have the resources. If faith pleases God, then that is what I want. I am thankful that He has set me up in such a perfect position to exercise faith. This is so far outside of my control that there is no other option. 

Thanks for caring for and with us in this journey. Please continue to pray for our faith, patience, and diligence. I know there is a lot of waiting in the adoption game. I just want to make sure that we have always done what we need to do on our end. Praise the Lord with us for His faithfulness so far, and for what He is going to do.

Scared.

I talked with a girl a few weeks ago that has adopted from Uganda twice. She referred us to an agency that she highly recommends. I have done some research on it and found things to be as she said. It was so encouraging to talk to someone that has had a real experience and can say it was good. I was so excited for a few days about our conversation. We printed out the application for the agency and I filled it out right away. This seemed like the logical next step.
The application has been filled out for weeks now. And sitting on the counter. There are a few questions we weren't sure how to answer and I needed to call the agency to talk to them about it. But I am scared. Since October we have been searching for the route to take to pursue adoption from Uganda. This seems so real all of a sudden. And scary. Once this ball starts rolling there is no turning back. The ball may not roll quickly- but it will be in motion and that is so overwhelming to me.
There are so many unknowns about the road ahead. The reality of what all adoption of an international child holds is something I've never experienced. There are issues that will have to be dealt with. These children have an unknown and unknowable past. There may be deeply rooted issues that our parenting will have to adjust to help heal. The money. I've spoken with many people that say it is not something to worry about, that God provides. I know this is true- but I am anxious about how He will provide, and in what timing. We do not have the funds to be able to accomplish this alone. Not only is this the cost of adoption, but the cost of a new car. Both of the cars we have now will not accommodate another car seat. The wait. A normal pregnancy takes 40 weeks. A normal adoption does not exist. Haha. I don't think there is any mold to go by and guess how long this could take.
BUT GOD. All of the concerns I have may be very real. But they are not too big. They do not determine the course of our adoption process. God does. I believe that God is sovereign in all things. This is why HE is Lord. And if I say I believe that- and if we believe God has called us to the journey of adoption- then I must be obedient and diligent. He reminded me so gently and clearly that adoption is HIS idea. I got out my Bible concordance from my time at CIU the other day. I felt a sudden urge to have God's word wash over me. I NEEDED it. I looked up all the verses on orphans. God graciously showed me AGAIN that caring for the orphan was established long ago. The most references for orphan are in the Old Testament. God set up guidelines for care for the fatherless in the Law. His chosen people were given a law to live by. This was part of what set them apart as their own nation. I am always so struck when God begins to soften my heart for a certain subject and I learn that the idea has been around since the beginning of time! It's a humbling experience to realize I was so blind to something that has always been so sure. I am so grateful that God does not fly by the seat of His pants. He is a God of order. In His infinite wisdom He established an idea and a way to care for my next child from before time began, because He cares for the child more than I ever could. I'm so grateful for all I have learned and am looking forward to what I will continue to learn as I grow. I pray that I will have a shapeable heart to whatever the Lord wants. I want eyes to see what He puts before me, ears to hear His words, and a life that is obedient to what He calls me to.
So as I have sat and realized again His plan of adoption I realized that leaving the application sitting on the counter in fear is not obedience. It's much easier to pursue adoption in words rather than action. It can sound good, but does it sacrifice like Jesus did. I want the adoption of our child to be a picture of our adoption as children into God's family. Having just celebrated Easter- it was a huge cost to make our adoption into God's family a possibility and reality. I was listening to the Chris Tomlin song, Our God the other day and I literally felt again God poking my heart. "And if our God is for us- then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us- then what could stand against?" My heart cried out over and over NOTHING!!! My mind and rational brought up emotional trauma, money, unknown time frame etc. etc. etc.... I had to actively cling to truth and put out lies.
Today I called the agency. I left a message and now wait. I will get the answers to our few questions and then finish the application. We will pay the application fee and send it in. Then we will see what God does. The hill looks daunting- but the ball is perched at the top and is ready to go. I don't know how many bumps we will hit on the way down- but they are bumps that God knows and has perfectly placed for the making me into the image of His Son Jesus. I hold tightly to this truth. Not because it feels good or reasonable- but because I know it is true.
1 Thessalonians 5:24- Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.

Ho-hum

Well. It's been a long time.
Not much has happened since I last posted. At least nothing out of the ordinary. We are just doing life like normal. Days seem long, yet time seems to fly by. I always feel behind on every thing I need to do. Hence the lack of posts.
I do admit that recently I have felt like the pace at which we do life is WAY too busy. Our weeks are slammed. Each one. I love to have people over for meals. We only have one day a week we can do that.
I grew up in the jungle. Far away from fast paced America. Days were over around 5:30 at night. I miss the slower pace. I feel like I am constantly grasping for the pace of life I used to know. I'm not sure how to give up or find balance. I don't think American life lends itself to nearness to Jesus, but I'm not sure how to live here and make nearness to Jesus a reality. I think we don't experience the greatness God has to offer us in our experience of Him because of our busyness and distraction. Just thoughts I've been wrestling with lately. I'll let you know if I find the answer. :)
We finally heard from the babies home we were talking with. The result was a "not this route" from God. So now we research more options. I have a good sense of peace about the progression of this process. I would love to have more solid information, but I have to trust in God's goodness and His timing. As I have discussed with many people, what if our next child is not even conceived yet. My impatience would be a huge waste of time then! I am talking with someone tomorrow about another agency and their experience in adoption from Uganda. I am very excited to learn more. The more I learn, the more convinced I am that adoption is God's idea and I am just blessed enough to be learning more about what He cares for. I have been adopted into the family of God. He has given the perfect example of how to care for those in greatest need.
Hope you are finding time in busy life to commune with Jesus. His Word is alive. Relevant to all He places in our lives.