Monday morning, October 7th I woke up to our court date! November 21. That is Adam's birthday and what a great birthday present!
We are excited. But to be honest I was kind of disappointed at first. I really had my heart set on being there in October. It seems so far away to be able to be with our little boy.
My natural tendency is to analyze a situation and as quickly as possible find all the negative aspects. I found myself doing this Monday morning. Instead of being thankful for knowing exactly when I would meet my little boy, I decided to channel my thoughts to any problems there may be with this plan that was not mine!
I realized that I was sad. I was sad that it would be longer until we got to meet Jonathan. I was sad that we would be gone from home/family during all of the holidays. I LOVE the holidays and all the tradition in them.
I was crying in the kitchen as I made breakfast for Matthew (Andrew was still asleep). He asked me why I was crying- so I told him. He told me, "It's ok Mommy. We just need to be patient until we go get Jonathan. He has a nice place to live there and friends to play with while he waits for us." Honestly what I wanted to scream was "SHUT UP!" because he was saying the exact same things I casually say to him when he asks when we will go to Uganda. Tasting your own medicine is not very delicious. Haha. It was a good gentle reminder for me though. Patience.
I am so grateful to the Lord for what happened next. As I loaded the kids into the car I realized what I was doing! This may not sound like a big deal, but this was a big step in maturity for me. Typically my sadness leads to negativity which usually leads quickly to anger/bitterness. As I put Andrew in the car I heard quietly in my spirit... sadness is fine to feel, but how you deal with it will make all the difference. Don't choose sin.
I was headed to preschool chapel at Matthew's school. I decided that if we would be gone during holiday's then I would have to redirect my thoughts away from self-pity to planning fun ways to celebrate overseas. Immediately I got excited about that idea. I have spent MANY holiday's away from America and family through out my life. I KNOW from experience that it is not miserable or the end of the world.
If you have followed our story at all then you know as well as I do that God has proven Himself as MORE than faithful enough to us and has worked in HIS perfect (and rather speedy) timing. It's rather infuriating how quickly I lost sight of that when I didn't get my way. I'm grateful for how God has been preparing me and growing me for that moment and how the Holy Spirit enabled me to deal with it in a God glorifying way.
At chapel I ran into a good friend with a son (an adorable adopted little brown baby!) in Matthew's class. I shared the news with her and got to talk through what my heart was struggling with. She was so encouraging to me to take my thoughts captive. Then she shared something with me that I hadn't thought of yet...that further reinforced God's perfect timing to me.
She told me that last year at the church's staff retreat I was talking to her about how overwhelmed I was with where to start to move towards adoption. Literally during the middle of our conversation another staff member walked in and told us about how she had just come from the hospital from spending time with the two families that were at our church from Uganda for heart surgeries. The translator was a social worker and that I should talk to her. That was the beginning of our journey in Uganda. My friend started crying...and clearly so did I- even though I didn't know what was coming yet. :) She told me that right around that time would've been when Jonathan was conceived. HIS timing is perfect! Praise God!
I spent all afternoon eating chocolate and surfing Pinterest. I think that is clearly the natural course of events when one is sad. I found all sorts of fun and exciting ways to celebrate holidays in Uganda. I got SO excited that we would be a family of FIVE celebrating Jesus in a different country! What a special opportunity that not many people would get!
I am a part of a support group of adoptive moms. I'm not sure how else to label it- but it is just friends that get together every other Monday night to share the weight and joy of the journey of adoption together. I was excited for this before it started, and it was a real answer to prayer. Adam and I prayed when we started this process that we would have adoptive buddies. Kind of like a friend that you're pregnant at the same time as...but with adoption. We didn't see that prayer answered right away and pushed on alone. God brought at (once again) the best time- this group of ladies to me. Three of us are traveling within a month of each other to pick up our babies. These ladies love Jesus and orphans. They have real fears, real love, real laughter, and real tears that we all get to share. This group met on Monday night. I thought it was so gracious of God to give me the news on a day that I got to go unwind with these friends.
I told the ladies that night that I feel like my pants have been blessed right off of me in this process. My day started in sadness and through the grace and mercy of the Lord I went to bed excited to know when I will see my son, and not wrapped up in my own selfishness.
Please pray with us as we purchase airline tickets next week. Pray for good prices. Please pray for the judge that we have been appointed to for our case. Pray for favor for us with him. Pray for our family as we will have to be split up for part of our trip because it is too long for Adam to stay the whole time. Pray for me as I pack up everyone for 2 months worth of overseas living. In 50 lb. pieces of luggage. Yikes. Pray for the boys as they know change is coming, but have no sense of timing in that. Pray for Jonathan as we only have 40ish days until we meet him - for health and good care. Pray for Adam as he gets details together at work for his time gone. Pray for the leaders that will be serving in his absence and for the students that he cares so much about.
I'm going to get the boys a snack now and then make a paper chain count down! YIPPEE!!